I have no sense of boundaries, apparently. My standard method of dealing with my problems is to broadcast them as far and wide and loud as I can, which is fine until my friends (acquaintances, family, coworkers, strangers on the street, people I’ve never even met face to face…) get tired of hearing it. I have good friends, they put up with a lot from me.
Now it’s your turn! Because now, I have embarked upon that most fascinating of adventures: chronic health problems! And I have to admit, I’m not happy about it.
I spent a generous part of December lying on the sofa and making everyone around me miserable. When the ambient level of suffering had reached 100% saturation, I gave in and went to the ER. No, you don’t want to know the symptoms. If you do, you have a dark soul, and need serious help.
After a level of violation that is most likely illegal here, I had a CT scan, that told me I was inflamed in places that, I assure you, I NEVER wanted to be inflamed. Or even aware. Fortunately (if you can dare to call it fortunate) there was an infection involved…three weeks and sixty dollars in antibiotics later, I was back to normal.
But there was a catch. The CT Scan also showed that my liver was enlarged. Of course, no one told me this; I discovered it when I went to get the records for my primary care physician.
So, February: I find myself enduring quite a few more kinds of violation, both medical and financial. Just for the record, if you are awake during your colonoscopy, SPEAK UP. They won’t believe you if you aren’t screaming.
Here’s the breakdown on my results:
- The Good: I didn’t have any of the truly awful possibilities I had been presented with. The tamest among them (though by far not the best) were Mononucleosis, Diabetes (shudder—I hate needles), and that happiest of diseases, Hepatitis. I had some serious concern about that last, as I’ve always worked in environments that present a high risk of hepatitis exposure. Also, diabetes runs in my family, on both sides. So I was very relieved here.
- The Bad: My liver and spleen like to play tricks on me!! On the CT scan, and also during the doctor’s exam, they were clearly enlarged; but the subsequent ultrasound found no abnormalities. As well, all the related bloodwork was normal. Oh, those tricky organs!
- The Ugly: I have (drum roll please)…Crohn’s Disease! Meet the new bane of my existence, my new companion for the rest of my life. I am just SO thrilled to make its acquaintance! Oh, and gallstones, for good measure.
I won’t give you all the details of Crohn’s. It’s on Wikipedia, and frankly, it’s not very…palatable, if my colonoscopy reference didn’t give THAT away. The part that concerns me is this: It is an autoimmune disease, meaning that my immune system is attacking a body part—in this case, my colon. So, I can only draw one conclusion:
My body is staging a rebellion!
I don’t know what I did to provoke it. I’ve always tried to treat it right…and if I didn’t necessarily give it what it needed, at least I sometimes gave it what it wanted. And this is the thanks I get? Frankly, I’m offended. But, I’m not going to take this sitting down!
This means war!
War, in the form of an immunosuppressant drug that I will take for the rest of my life. Which leaves me open to other illnesses. Hmm, maybe this battle plan isn’t the greatest after all. Oh well, back to the drawing board!