AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR:
Ladies and gentlemen, tired of scratches, smudges, and streaks? Ready to put an end to spots and smears? Have any more spare “S” words that strike fear into your heart?
Then you need Slick Sam’s Screen ShieldsTM! With Screen Shields, you can protect your most valuable asset–the image you present! That’s right, folks, you don’t have to worry anymore!
Cell Phone and keys in the same pocket? No problem! No scratches here!
Kids playing with your laptop? Streak-free!
Your Ipad is male, and too embarrassed to wear a pink leather cover? Keep that screen as good as new!
With Slick Sam’s Screen ShieldsTM, you’ll get a full set of Screen Shields in all the standard sizes–Cell Phone, Laptop, Tablet PC’s, there’s a Screen Shield for every device! And, if you order in the next ten minutes, we’ll DOUBLE your order! That’s right, you’ll get TWO complete sets of Screen Shields for the price of one!
BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!!!
Order today, and you’ll not only get two sets of Screen Shields, but we’ll also throw in a FREE charger detailing kit! That’s right, whether you’re a phone or a tablet, you can have the best-dressed charger in town! Don’t be caught without one!
Just to recap, for the low, low, price of $19.99 (plus shipping and handling), you’ll get two complete sets of Slick Sam’s Screen ShieldsTM, plus the deluxe Charger Detailing Kit! And if you order now, we’ll throw in Same-Day Delivery!!!
Cell Phone, Laptop, Ipad, and Printer: <sitting around Television, speechless>
C: …That was…oh my god…I don’t know what to say…
I: DVR, please tell me you didn’t record that horror.
D: Yep! Got it right here! <gets hit with a crumpled sheet of paper> Ouch! Printer, what the heck?
P: <wide-eyed, sniffling, tears in eyes> THAT’S for keeping such bad things!
D: Al-RIGHT, alright, I’m dumping it…sheesh.
T: <trying not to laugh> I don’t know what the big deal is. It wasn’t that bad, guys.
L: Easy for you to say. Slick Sam’s Screen ShieldsTM didn’t include a 52-inch version! The rest of us have to live in fear now!
Filly: <entering room> You know, none of you have ANYTHING to complain about…
C: What? Why not?
F: Because… <whips head around toward stairs, eyes wide, ears back>
Woman: <from upstairs> Filly!! Come up here and try on this Halloween costume!
F: THAT’S why!! Hide me! <runs under couch>
C: <long pause> …yeah, maybe my charger could use some detailing after all…
L: I have her credit card numbers! Woohoo!